In 2014 I filled out a Mormon.org personal profile. It was rejected three times. “We want something upbeat and friendly” they said. Well, by the time I tweaked, trimmed, polished, and edited it to meet their “happy Mormon” objective, it just wasn’t me. So, I deleted it.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I am antagonistic, disgruntled, or angry, I’m just not a bubbly, sociable, or “loving” person. Consequently, I’m outside of the church’s leadership track. But, I still feel that I have something to contribute and have to be creative to do so.
Over the last decade or so, my faith has shifted from what could be called an eager or naïve (non-pejorative sense) position to a post-critical position. I now favor more of an open, informed, and nuanced approach. I could also say that I feel less and think more. Maybe it is a natural expression of my temperament or I just reached a boundary in my faith experience that required a paradigm shift in order to continue to learn and grow. (More about this in my Stages of Faith posts.)
I presume that there are other Mormon Christians who may feel a little heretical and “outside” of their congregations. Maybe some of my thoughts and experiences will be of value to others that are making a similar transition.
Mostly, putting my thoughts down is therapeutic and makes me feel useful. I also want my kids to know where I stand and allow them space for their own faith journey, even when it may not conform to institutional ideals.